01.02.25

09:32

JOURNAL

real update:

I haven't gone to Albania, the second house on the island was sold, where the electric work was being done. Now there is a new house in town, where more electric work was done.
I have been languidly tossing belonging, making them non-belonging, creating space.

Klaudia asked me one more time "When are you coming to Albania?" I answered "I don't want to say, I've been wrong so many times."

I have missed a jaunt to Thailand, to see Aleksandra, and stay at a Monastery. Because the house is never done, it never finishes. Get a refrigerator, get rid of the car, or store it. Set up someway to protect the house. My sister isn't going to stay now, she has a dog. No dogs. My other sister gave birth. I so desperately want to leave here.

The first parade is today. And I don't feel like going. I numb myself with an HBO stream, Sopranos, Sex and the City, East Bound and Down.

I loved Aleksandra. I hope she returns to my life one day. I wither like a tomatoe plant, unbound, listless. A mushroom forests populates in miniature beneath me.

Steps to ejection: Get fridge installed, Get car stored or sold. Find house sitter, or at minimum leave keys with Phillip, Mia. Get laptop batteries changed out. Get whatever else needed for going abroad. Buy ticket. Board plane. Leave here. Perhaps Mexico is a good initial spot, to form my road legs again.

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