last day of the year twenty-twenty,
its not much, and honestly i don't care,
only respite being, uhh, i'm probably
stepping off from the one local friend,
he didn't live up to the bargain, deal,
whatever, i helped him get his car
legal, he didn't help me practice
driving much. Sucky investment
on my part, well, you can't win it all.
And i bought a motor-bike, that
promptly got broken down, sitting
at his house, i'll have to go get it
fixed myself. this guy, he just
wants to drink coffee, smoke
cigs, walk around with his dog,
it bores me. maybe
most people don't understand
why i don't get out much, but
the world is boring this year,
i mean, i could just go around
without a mask, live semi-normally,
even though that's not all of it,
it is feverishly cold, for me atleast,
here on the sea, the wind howls,
evil clouds spit up freezing rain,
shit shit shit! rumbling stomach,
gurgling intestines of an idiotic
sky god. three more months,
three more degrees, will be at
21 Celsius by then, oh yipee!
at most i'm finishing this damn
paper, final project to get a useless
degree, but that's not the point,
after its done, i'll be relatively free
to make more websites, and play
around with javascript, and maybe
even write a short story, translate
and publish the albanian poetry,
oh, another year, another imagined
story, something sort of real, but not,
that's what life has come to,
and should i be grateful?

to end this with a cocteau twins line:

I have my friends, my family
I have myself
I still have me

on that subject, my bio-dad called me yesterday,
that was very nice of him.

And tonight, I will not celebrate. I'm on strike!


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