I am too old for this?!

| Geshe-la said I was nearly a Buddhist monk.

I am nearly maimed with fatigue. What will it be, what obsession,.. ? 6 hours until waking. No prospects are given to me this way. The giver?
It seems time flows continuously. We are the only damns. We are the only sacrafice. Spilt bloody tears can not grant an awakening. Time stops for no beggar, - it seems.